Just when you thought it was safe to go to the grocery store…

Cue the Jaws soundtrack, because something sinister is coming.  Have you located the 8-track of it in your brain?  Good.  Because it’s here.  It’s Tofu.

All right, come back in the house and stop screaming.  It’s not actually going to kill you.  Unlike that other stuff you’ve been putting in your grocery cart.  Tofu is low in calories, contains beneficial amounts of iron and has no saturated fat or cholesterol. Depending on the brand, the tofu may also be high in calcium and magnesium.  The tofu I buy provides 10% RDA of calcium.

Tofu gets a bad rap, and sometimes it’s deserved.  I have a theory that some people, possibly with a genetic mutation of some sort, find the taste of raw or slightly cooked tofu appealing.  That’s why we so often encounter this unwelcome gelatinous white mass in our soups and other dishes.  We tried it once, it was gross, and so we think all tofu is gross.

So part two of my theory is that many more people would like tofu if it were cooked properly.  I find that I like tofu that has been mercilessly deep fried.  However, this isn’t how I want to eat, and it isn’t how I want to cook.  I invented a method I have never seen in any cookbook, and it’s much less messy and much more healthy.  Nuke it.

I know, you’re thinking that if you microwave a cube of glop you will be left with a cube of hot glop, but the secret is that this is Defcon 1 – we’re going to nuke the bejeezus out of that cube of glop.

A block of firm or extra-firm tofu in the refrigerator of the health food section of your grocery store costs about $2.  Will you try this with me?  I am certain you can recall having spent $2 more foolishly than this in the past.  And think how much you’ll impress the other natural food shoppers as you cavalierly toss the tofu into your cart.  “I guess I’ll just get one this week.”

The tofu will keep, unopened, for many many weeks in your fridge.  But don’t delay, open it up and take out the block.  The container is usually recyclable.  Cut the block in half the short way.  Put one half in a plastic container, cover the tofu with water, seal and refrigerate – it will keep 4-5 days.

Tofu before nuking

Cut the remaining piece in half the same way, and cut each half in half the same way again, so you have 4 pieces about 1/2″ x 4″ x 2″.  Not that the way you cut it matters much, but I find this easiest.  Arrange the pieces on a plate and sprinkle them with soy sauce.  You don’t want a big puddle on the plate (but it’s OK if it happens), just get the tops lightly coated – sometimes I use my finger to spread it around.  Now microwave this for five minutes.  Then flip them over and microwave for 3 minutes.  If your microwave is underpowered, you may need to increase both of those by a minute or more – in our wimpy cottage microwave I double the times.  It should be springy when done.  Take them out and slice them.  I slice them pretty thin, maybe 1/4″.  They will firm up more as they cool.  If they taste gloppy they’re underdone and you can microwave them some more.  If they taste like rubber erasers you overdid it.  They will spatter a little in your microwave, but it beats cleaning up grease.

Microwaved Tofu

You can eat these plain, hot or cold.  My kids love them, so I often just put them out in a bowl with dinner.  My son, 9, learned how to make them himself  as a snack.  “Mom, can I make some tofu?”  What would you say?  You can keep them in the fridge for salads, you can add them to stirfry, curry, soup, anywhere tofu or meat is called for.  You can skip the soy sauce if you don’t want to interfere with the flavorings of the dish you’re making.  I always pre-mike tofu before I add it to a recipe.  This method will not work with the aseptic (room temperature) boxes of tofu, which are meant to be blended, like in pudding or ice cream.

I’m afraid to ask, but I hope you liked it.  A little?

Want to learn more about tofu?  Here’s Colleen: How it’s made | Textures | What to do with it

And you can also check out my Entrees tab above for more tofu recipes.

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